Licking those dishes clean.. taking the easy housewife route

Ever wondered how people washed dishes before detergent, before running water or if there were dish pigs for ancient nomadic desert tribes?

I have puzzled over this on occasion while staring at my sink, jam-packed with the week's dirty dishes. The gooeyness of the gourmet dinners I've cooked is turning to concrete and threatening to become an ingrained part of the cutlery's design. 

The gift of innate housewifery passed me by. A runaway train never stopping. I could only feel the wiz of its carriages as they tumbled, at a ferocious speed, away from me. The fairies that flew into my crib to graciously bestow twelve gifts on me didn't even bother to give me the shopping gene. I had to cultivate that one all on my own. Although I must admit, I often forget to wash the detergent.

I am in awe of Amy Adam's unnatural affinity with cleaning and her exceptional cheerful demeanour. I struggle to be this happy even when invited out to dinner by my favourite crush, never mind while cleaning with an unruly crew of little vermin helpers.

 I tried to be like Amy, drifting through her small apartment in an ultra-feminine dress, befriending all the pests. I thought maybe this is the secret of happy housewives around the world: they work with their vermin, not against them, but after attempting with a heart ready to be filled with the golden light of love for all living creatures.

I had to accept that vermin, and I will never have this type of intimate, loving relationship. When I spot one scuttling across my kitchen floor I automatically reach for my sweeping brush or any other kitchen equipment available and use them as killing machines. Bringing them down on their little bodies with big, aggressive, swooping actions. Don't get me wrong, I don't enjoy this. I hate it. It makes me very quizzy.

But I don't give up that easily, and I decided that if me and vermin can't resolve our conflicts as they won’t obediently listen to me like they listen to Amy. I could maybe enjoy a deep cleaning connection with one of our furry cousins. So I invited my friend and her dashing hound over to do the honours. I could feel akin to Amy. He was more than pleased and was just the right height to reach the sink. Perfect, mission accomplished, well almost. He refused to lick my salad bowls clean and instead spent most of the night licking the gravy dish. He then broke my favourite plate, cut his lip and left muddy paw prints and blood on my sunshine yellow cupboards.

Here's a discussion on who has let's dogs lick their plates. Would you?

If you're interested in experimenting with dishwashing techniques, here's how to wash dishes without water but with sand...or quite simply throw them away and use paper plates, which you can then also throw away.

This link gives a very 

A detailed description of  how to wash dishes without soap

And just to brush up on my historical knowledge, I read the history of dishwashing liquid have a look.